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There are spoilers in this review. Duh.

Lyanna for president. She was an utter delight in this episode, and the internet went wild with love for her. For good reason! This episode is a bit of a mixed bag for me. It’s one of those episodes when they’re just moving pieces into place and getting ready for the big things that will happen probably in ep 9 and 10. Plus the return of a character who I care very, very little about, but I’m going to have to tolerate. Spoiler alert: I don’t care for the Hound. At all. I didn’t want him to come back. And he had so much time in this episode that I was like Ian McShane I love you, but I need to zone out now. Previously on Game of Thrones, Jaime was exiled because Tommen’s fallen in with the religious cult. Margaery is pretending to be in with them, I mean we can’t believe she’s actually lost her mind at this point. Jaime is supposed to take Riverrun back, which is now controlled by the Blackfish, Catelyn’s uncle. Sansa and Jon were off to try and persuade the North to fight for them to get Winterfell back. Arya chose not to kill the actress and wants to leave the Many Faced God cult. Theon and Yara ran off when their uncle was chosen to be King, and they have all the ships. That’s more or less the summary, I’ve probably forgotten some things.

So the Hound is back. He hangs out with Ian McShane who is a peaceful hippie type but not the creepy kind that the Sparrow is. The Brothers Without Banners shows up to threaten them, and it’s sad because they’re supposed to be good guys kind of. They kill everyone. The Hound is pissed. That’s the summary. I don’t care. Jon and Sansa’s search in the North connects with Lyanna Mormont, who is awesome as you can see in the gif above. She agrees to help, but she doesn’t have many men. The rest of the North is like nahhhhh at them. The Wildlings have all come along, loyal to Jon, but it isn’t enough men. Sansa writes a secret letter off, and it’s definitely to Littlefinger imo. Sorry, dude, but you can still always kill him afterward and get your revenge. She sent Brienne to Riverrun but she’s not there yet, so no reunion with Jaime that will break me. Jaime meets with the Blackfish and he’s like lol I care nothing about my nephew Edmure who you guys have. He plans on staying there under siege as long as possible. Jaime’s like man, how am I going to get this shit together.

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Arya is feeling pretty good about herself, using money to book herself package out of the area, but then the Waif stabs the shit out of her a few times and she manages to barely survive. She stumbles around the streets bleeding from a bad gut wound. No one helps her. I’m kind of done with this scared Arya. BRING HER BACK TO HER ROOTS. Theon is still heavily traumatized, as you’d expect, and he’s sad at the whore house because he can’t really be with women anymore. Yara’s getting her bisexuality on. She assures him that they’re going to find Dany first and ally with her before their uncle can. Margaery shows her first sign of sanity, even if she’s lying to the Sparrow about it, by giving her grandmother a picture of a rose. Olenna gets the message and decides to leave, but not before tearing Cersei to ribbons verbally. Also the Sparrow is so creepy, I really want him to die. He’s making people take Cersei’s side for once, that’s how creepy he is. Please don’t tell Margaery about how she has to do a wife’s duty. Creep.

So that’s about it! Like I said, everyone’s kind of moving into places. Sansa and Jon will be going to war in episode 9 which is titled the Battle of the Bastards. Hopefully Ramsay will finally die. Arya is in no way dead from this stab wound, so she’ll find a way to get out of it. We didn’t see anything in Meereen, but Dany’s on her way back so it’ll finally get back on track. NEXT WEEK BRIENNE AND JAIME. MY HEART CANNOT TAKE IT. Also I know I’m going to have to suffer through more Hound nonsense, but I guess he’s only really back to potentially kill his brother the Mountain as he’s always wanted. I want to know if Tommen is in on Margaery’s plan here, wouldn’t that be kind of cool if he was? Overall a decent ep, but nothing too spectacular. Outside of Lyanna being a badass like her namesake.

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