There are spoilers in this review.

As usual I’m like a year behind on all my recaps, but luckily this show kind of makes me want to throw something, so I don’t think it’ll be on my list much longer. This episode in particular kind of pissed me off, and I found it difficult to get through it. I tweeted them congratulations on taking on the douchebaggery of pick up artists, and then soon after that tweeted NOPE I TAKE IT BACK NO CREDIT FOR YOU. Because Lucifer’s behavior in this episode was not charming or cute or acceptable, and I think I would be fine with it if it was treated with the UNCOOL nature it deserves. Also considering the two leads have zero chemistry it just felt AWKWARD. Anyway. Previously on Lucifer, the devil is on earth. For no real reason he’s working with the police, because police procedurals are required. I read the comic so I spend my time low key  aggressively annoyed by its simplicity. Chloe doesn’t seem to fall for his charms. He’s been “changing.” We’re informed of this. We haven’t seen any of it. Thanks for telling and not showing, peeps.

So Lucifer decides the only way to stop obsessing over Chloe is to sleep with her. He spends the entire episode aggressively pursuing her, and not in a ‘you’re pretty’ way, in a why won’t you sleep with me I’m going to publicly embarrass you until you do. Later on in the episode he just shows up naked, and I’m like if a dude did that to me when I said many, many times NO, I would be in full rights to kick him in the junk and flee. YUCK YUCK YUCK, show. It’s weird this comes in the same episode when they are like ‘pick up artists are creepy’ except in the end we’re supposed to … sympathize with the gross pick up artist? And Lucifer? BLECH I hate this episode. Basic story is that the girlfriend of a pick up artist went missing. Her brother reported it. She’s been kidnapped and the pick up artist needs their help to get her back. Lucifer is the in-between because he’s allowed to the events and who cares they just want reasons for him to be thrown into police cases when he really has no reason to be there. But the pick up artist ~truly loves~ this one girl, so I guess it’s okay that he’s been horrendous for years and encourages other men to be horrendous. Also Lucifer publicly says Chloe is a cop when she’s under cover and says he has all the pick up skills and yet she won’t sleep with him. Chloe doesn’t pistol whip him when he honestly deserves it.


LUCIFER: L-R: Tom Ellis, XXX and Lauren German in the “Manly Whatnots” episode of LUCIFER airing Monday, Feb. 15 (9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT) on FOX. ©2016 Fox Broadcasting Co. CR: Michael Courtney/FOX

Eventually the “twist” is that girl kidnapped herself to get money from him as revenge. He slept with her before and carelessly discarded her. Lucifer’s like ‘hey he’s changing though he really loves you’ and I’m like … right okay lol forgive him for everything and let them live happily ever after. Granted I don’t think he deserves to die for it either though, but Lucifer was ready to do like devil stuff to the girl, and I’m like REALLY. Her wrongs were soooo much worse, okay, of course you think so when you’ve been sexually harassing and stalking this police officer all episode. Is it obvious how much I really hated this episode and am getting close to being done with the show? So close. He convinces Chloe to shoot him to prove he’s immortal, and instead he actually gets shot and bleeds. He’s startled and even a little happy about it, because that’s never happened before.

The angel and Maze have a fight because he wants her help with getting Lucifer back to hell, and honestly she wants to go back herself. But she doesn’t want to agree with an angel. I’d like more of Maze. I’d like a lot more of Maze and the angel and Lucifer’s stuff in Hell, and less of a STUPID CRIME PROCEDURAL THAT WE’VE SEEN A BUNCH OF TIMES. There is so much good source material here and you are using none of it. I am so infuriated about this. Maybe I’ll give it only one more episode. Grrr argh.


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