a1f0c3a51e2146c0c6f6ca69ada29616

There are spoilers in this review. Duh.

Hey remember when I come up with theories about how they’re making complex and nuanced plots, and then they prove me absolutely wrong by picking the laziest possible option instead? Why do I even bother? Seriously. Why. Whenever we’ve theorized on interesting plot twists, the show just goes with the simplest answer instead, and I remind myself we expect too much of it. Siiiiigh. This mid-season finale was trash, and I’m in a bit of a pickle because I legit have no interest in seeing the rest, except they showed Pan in the back end and I love Pan. 😦 Previously on OUAT, Emma turned Hook into a Dark One to save his life in Camelot, and that’s why she took everyone’s memories away. Now he has his memories back he’s turned against her and brought all the Dark Ones to Storybrooke as part of their evil plan. Zelena had her baby and Regina and Robin told her she could visit. Technically they legally don’t have rights to keep her from her child, but whatever. What else? Who cares.

The Dark Ones honestly don’t do much at all. They walk through people and everyone who they walk through gets a mark on their wrist. This includes our main characters, naturally, including Henry. The idea is that they’ve now been exchanged the dark mark of sorts, that will take them to the Underworld. So the Dark Ones would swap places. Are they not able to actually do any magic until this happens? They really just wander around being weird this episode, so I assume they can’t do anything. Emma decides she probably has to kill Hook to save her family. She plans on using Excalibur, which she takes from Rumple, to take all the evil into herself and then let herself die. Seriously she is not a Dark One at all. That was such a wasted storyline. She’s the exact same person. Snow White decides to be completely out of character and decide not to seek for a solution, but to accept their death and spend their last moments together happily. I think it’s for us to go ???? because she always has hope and now she doesn’t, but seriously Snow, ?????? You have a child to fight for, a little baby, and you’re just going to let Henry die too? WITHOUT A FIGHT? The idea to enjoy your last few hours with your family, it makes more sense to spend those hours WITH your family trying to SAVE THE DAY. Deep breaths, self. In a story arc no one cares about, Zelena’s like I’m taking the baby once you’re dead, so Regina goes ehhhh about the redemption arc for you, I’m sending you back to Oz. If I felt like she was gone for good, I’d be fine with that, but she’ll be back.

ORRISON

The flashback is that Hook’s father abandoned him and his brother and sold them into the navy/slavery basically. Seriously parents all suck in this show. That’s pretty typical of fairy tales so I’ll accept it. Years later he randomly met up with Regina when she tried to get him to kill her mother, and she showed him his father. Zero idea how she knew where his father was, considering she hadn’t met him before and this was after Neverland. And his father survived all this time because a sleeping curse. But then he was “redeemed” and had a second child named Liam and Hook kills him. I can’t blame him too much. HE NAMED HIS NEW CHILD TO REPLACE HIS OTHER ONE. What a dbag. This means Hook has a brother and we don’t know yet who it is. Or where they’d be in the timeline. They have to be younger than Regina. I guess we’ll see. in Storybrooke, Hook’s like nah see ya everyone. Rumple sends Belle away “selflessly” to have a good life and get her away from the drama about to happen. I theorized that this was Hook’s plan all along and he wanted to bring the Dark ones there specifically to end the line, but I was completely wrong because he legit was helping them and didn’t care about any of them dying. Until Emma was being choked by Nimue and then he was like ehhhh maybe no. I mean seriously Nimue, you should’ve sent Hook away for this, he was a wild card, and otherwise you’d be done right now.

Hook instead takes all the darkness into himself, of course, and Emma has to kill him. Her hair goes back to normal since she’s no longer a Dark One. But then she realizes Rumple is the Dark One. WHY DO YOU BOTHER TRYING TO “REDEEM” HIM ONLY TO MAKE HIM EVIL? Like I am fine with him staying evil, everyone, but this is like the 100th time you went well maybe he’s changed lol no nevermind he hasn’t. If I believed for a second you meant this for real and weren’t going to try and save him again, I’d be fine with him being full out evil. But I don’t trust you guys with anything. Also Belle came back and decided to be with him because he was “selfless” and has no idea he’s the Dark One again. Emma says she’ll keep his secret from Belle (disgusting) if he helps her go to the Underworld to save Hook. And her whole family goes along because … it’s not like they have kids to worry about, right? It’s not like Robin just had a baby or Snow and Charming have little Neal. It’s not like it’s weird as hell to send Henry, their teenager, into the Underworld which is basically hell. WHY DOES EMMA NEED ALL OF THEM? Also I don’t know if they’re aware, but the Greek Underworld doesn’t really work as in everyone is in hell. Like are they going to show the several parts of the Underworld? Tartarus? Elysium? What about the Camelot story? None of that has been wrapped up. Why did Merlin say Nimue would help them? They could be getting to that later.

In the sneak peek of the next part, we saw several of the villains back around, including Pan and Cora. I really want to see them, but I am so done with this show being horrible writing and characterization. I’m considering only seeing the episodes that have characters I like in them (PAN) and then ignoring the rest. Also are we going to see Neal while we’re down there? Wouldn’t Rumple want to save his son once he’s down there? That better come up even if they can’t do anything about it. If the Underworld has always been a thing, why only now is it brought up as an option to go into? Because they didn’t think about this before. Because they just make it up as it suits them when they want to do a new story arc. They are legit running out of ideas and I’m not sure how much more of this I can take.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s