Dee Discusses: The Royals 1×02

Posted: April 20, 2015 by Dee in Dee, General Media, Recaps, Television, the royals
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There are spoilers in this review. Duh.

This show is so ridiculous. I’m in this weird place where I hate everyone but I find them interesting to watch, and I think that’s what The Royals is counting on. None of them are particularly likable, but that’s okay, because it’s extravagant and over the top. Yet there are moments that genuinely intrigue me. This is pulp drama at its worst/best. I have a certain respect for a show that knows exactly what it is. Previously on The Royals, the crown prince Robert unexpectedly died, leading the family into a tailspin. His irresponsible brother Liam suddenly became the heir, and at the same time he started to fall for the head of security’s commoner daughter Ophelia. His twin sister Eleanor’s the epitome of a scandalous party girl, but she got a shock at the end when her loyal bodyguard was a man blackmailing her with a sex video. The King Simon declares he might ask parliament to disband the royalty altogether, concerning his skeezy brother Cyrus and his Queen Bitch wife Helena. Liam’s uncertain if he wants to be King, but his mother does know one thing: She doesn’t want Ophelia in his life!

I find this episode so strange in the sense that I found myself liking people for moments I didn’t expect. I thought Ophelia was annoying when she pretended to be above all of it, but she clearly enjoyed the attention of dating the prince. After meeting his tacky but cultured ex Gemma, she gets jealous, and gets completely wasted trying to one-up her. They’re oddly honest with each other, and I almost found myself liking Gemma? Don’t ask me. But Ophelia admits while completely wasted that she really slept with Liam because she wanted a story. So I appreciate she admits flat out that the excitement is what drew her, but she didn’t plan on actually liking him. All the same, she decides that she isn’t right for him, and calmly breaks it off. Of course this won’t be the end of it, but I was surprised and delighted when she did it all the same. Liam seems determined to attempt to be a king, since his sister certainly isn’t being helpful with their reputation. She ignores the fact all these people are excited to see the royalty and smokes and drinks wildly. I really don’t like Eleanor. I think we’re supposed to find her rebellion appealing, but I find it really selfish. She doesn’t seem to give a crap about anyone but herself. Still, that doesn’t mean she deserves to be blackmailed by some creepy that might start becoming her love interest? Gross. What the hell is this show.

nup_164503_0547Eleanor and Cyrus are trying to keep Simon from disbanding the monarchy, and Liam is the only one who gets through to him. After Cyrus takes Liam to task for acting like a rock star. Cyrus is gross, but I also found myself agreeing with him that Liam was being awful. It’s like these kids have no sense of responsibility or decency. Obviously not, considering who they’re surrounded by, but seriously. They’re adults now. They can’t blame their parents for everything. What really annoys me is I think we’re supposed to sympathize with Simon, but I am the most suspicious of him. He’s playing this serious good father type, but where has he been for his kids lives? Why aren’t they more responsible? Why didn’t he raise them better? He keeps acting like it’s his wife’s fault, but it takes two, and you’re doing like zero parenting here, man. 50% of what’s going on with them is your fault, suck it up. Cyrus seduces some guy in the Parliament, because of course, why not have the drunken druggie sadsack brother also be bisexual. Ahhhh, terrible tropes, you are ripe in this show.

So there were moments in this episode I liked characters I didn’t want to like, or at least agreeing with them in a general way. Also the Queen sees a former lover (?) and seems to genuinely love him, that’s odd, I hope that comes back. I do enjoy the idea of them all having secrets, tons of secrets, and everyone being as messed up as each other. On the other hand I’m not sure how much this show wants me to take its premise or its characters seriously. LOL what am I thinking, of course this isn’t supposed to be taken seriously. Well then, I might as well keep going and enjoy the insanity while it’s still amusing and not alarming.

(Stay broken up with him, Ophelia.)
(Eleanor don’t fall in love with the guy blackmailing you.)
(Simon you are a terrible father, don’t pretend otherwise.)
(What was up with that waitress with the gun????)



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