Dee Discusses: Doctor Who 7.13

Posted: May 23, 2013 by Dee in Dee, Doctor Who, General Media, Recaps, Television
Tags: , , , , , ,

I wanted to be excited about this episode, because Neil Gaiman was back. His episode The Doctor’s Wife is considered one of the best in the new series, and I love Neil Gaiman dearly. His comic series Sandman remains one of my go-to things to read when I’m bored and/or feeling grumpy. There were a few things going against this episode when it comes to my taste: I don’t like children or most television/movies/anything surrounding children, and I’m really tired of Matt Smith as the Doctor. I know he’s going to be in one more season and I’m a little blah about it. People mentioned how good of an acting job he did in this one, and I have to say, I didn’t find it impressive in the least. I’m not sure what everyone’s going on about. Let me just get this out of the way: why in all hell would Clara take two kids with her in the TARDIS? She’s seen already how “fun” adventures often end up in her almost dying every week. I’d go with go ahead and tell your Dad he won’t believe you over okay let’s go put you in the line of fire. Children should never be companions or taken anywhere with the Doctor. So I was already giving this episode the side eye to start with. Of course the kids weren’t going to die, but I’m fairly sure they’ll be scarred for awhile. Kind of like, I don’t know, Amy Pond? And usually the Doctor is good with children, but he seemed fairly indifferent to them in this.

Anyway. Clara has agreed to take Angie and Artie with the Doctor on an adventure. They’re supposed to go to the best amusement park of all time, but it’s been broken down for some time. It’s been shut down and there’s military there, led by a woman named Alice. They meet Webley who is part of the old park group and he shows them his private collection of wonders in this hidden area. One being a Cyberman. The Doctor, understandably, is freaked out. The Cyberman is not working however, but seriously guys, this should be pretty obvious to him. This is the point where he goes okay kids you’re going back in the TARDIS for awhile. Instead he leaves them in that creepy room to take a nap, while he investigates more. They find out that Webley has a dwarf partner, Porridge, and he tells Clara about what happened there. The Cybermen were trying to take over so the Empire had to fight them. In the end they had to blow up a billion people to take out the Cybermen, and they’ll do it again as the default reaction if it happens on this planet. There are little machines called Cybermites who get into Webley and Artie, and they bring back the Cybermen. Funny how they have never been mentioned before. Or how they did absolutely nothing on the planet until the Doctor showed up. Or how people who fought the Cybermen for a long time had never heard of them.

Angie is taken by the reanimated Cyberman because they want children who have better usable brains. Clara is put in charge and makes everyone move to the big Disney World-like castle to fortify that if things get worse. Alice points out they’re supposed to just blow up the planet if this happens. I’m kind of on board that idea right now. The Doctor confronts the Cybermen, and the Mites take over his brain. It’s not like he’s smart enough to realize they’re around and might be actually checking for them crawling on him. UGH. Anyway. So now there’s a Cybermite in his brain trying to take over and he’s trying to fight it. I guess the acting here is that people think he did a good job doing both sides. I mostly got bored and wondered how much longer the episode was. Also, since when do Cybermen or someone possessed by them talk like fully functional humans. They usually go DELETE. Even the other three possessed people are pretty simplistic in their speech. But no the Doctor has a special snowflake one who is clever and talkative just like him. Anyway they decide to play a chess match for the lives of everyone on the planet. The Doctor knows the dude has no fucks to give and will kill them regardless, but he wants to buy time. The Cybermen there have advanced and are now getting more badass and impossible to kill with each passing second.

Alice attempts to blow up the planet, but she’s stopped. Clara tries to get everyone together for the fight, but they’re outmatched. The Doctor gets the Cybermite distracted by saying he will win in three moves, so it spends all of its energy trying to figure out how. The Doctor is able to shoot the mite out of his brain with a hand pulser. There’s some ship teasing with Clara and the Doctor which make my eyes roll. Porridge turns out to be the Emperor and he can just teleport them out of there and blow up the planet. WHAT THE FUCK. WHY DIDN’T YOU DO THAT FROM THE BEGINNING? He says it’s because he didn’t want to be Emperor oh my god that is so ridiculously selfish. People could’ve died, hell people did die, didn’t they? Blah. He asks Clara to marry him because whatever I don’t care the episode is over and everyone goes home. One cybermite has survived. The kids do not have PTSD as you’d expect from being possessed by freaking Cybermen. Meh. On to the finale.

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