So! Oscars. Honestly guys I just popped in and out of the show because award shows are typically boring as hell. I mostly just tune in for the opening, the big awards, and if someone on tumblr yells RDJ IS ON THE STAGE I’ll flip to it. I think most people understand that we know what’s going to happen in these shows way in advance. There are rarely any upsets, and while it is a lovely event in terms of clothing and performance, it’s … boring. Highlights for me were Gwyneth Paltrow and Robert Downey Jr. basically being Tony Stark and Pepper Potts, the Billy Crystal opening montage had a few amusing moments, the Muppets winning original song, the Bridesmaids actresses being awesome, the Cirque du Soleil performance was lovely, and Colin Firth being damn adorable. Plus Christopher Plummer pointing out he’s only two years younger than the Oscars. He’s so cute. It ended on time, it wasn’t incredibly excruciating, so overall it could have been worse. Billy Crystal coming back was nice, and while a few of his jokes were stale, he’s much better than the last few years. I still think Hugh Jackman should just do that full time. I will never get over his hilarious musical montage about the movies where he admitted he hadn’t seen the Reader. And sang I AM WOLVERINE at the top of his lungs. Classic.

I will make this comment: I don’t like when actors who have only put in one or maybe two excellent performances winning Oscars. I don’t like this whole oh newcomer rises to the top, the underdog, and takes on the regular performers. I don’t like the same performers winning every single year either, so I want something of a balance, but I have a problem with someone being given an acting award when they’ve only done well in that one performance. I think Best Actor/Actress should not just be a credit to the performance, but to the actor and their career. That’s just my personal opinion. It will make more sense why I say that when we get down to Best Actor, you’ve been warned. 😉

Also? J-Lo, honey, if you can’t stop your clothing from nip-slipping, learn to dress properly.

Best Picture

WINNER: The Artist
The Descendants
Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close
The Help
Hugo
Midnight in Paris
Moneyball
The Tree of Life
War Horse

Comments: Foregone conclusion. No surprises here. I don’t even necessarily argue with it. While I might’ve personally gone with another film, The Artist was the clear winner of the night and since it was a pretty creative film, well all power to you.

Best Directing

WINNER: Michel Hazanavicius, The Artist
Woody Allen, Midnight in Paris
Terrence Malick, The Tree of Life
Alexander Payne, The Descendants
Martin Scorsese, Hugo

Comments: Again not a huge surprise here, although I really think Scorsese should haven’t gotten this one. He went outside of type and he did it well.

Best Actor

WINNER: Jean Dujardin, The Artist
Demián Bichir, A Better Life
George Clooney, The Descendants
Gary Oldman, Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy
Brad Pitt, Moneyball

Comments: So I warned ahead I had a few things to say here. I have not seen The Artist and I admit that readily. I’ve heard Jean Dujardin did wonderfully well, and I completely believe that. He seems to have a great attitude and he was charming and genuine up there on the stage. This isn’t a problem with him at all. This is just from a Gary Oldman fan, and I have to say it is a travesty that this is the first Oscar he’s ever been nominated for. What the hell. He’s a character actor so he usually does play more supportive roles and/or fades into the background despite excellent performances. He’s been around for thirty years now and this is the first Oscar he’s gotten nominated for? I just can’t even. This is an example of why I feel that some actors should be rewarded not only for their amazing performances in the movie they are being nominated for, but their body of work too. I don’t think he should be handed the statue; he did fantastically well in Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy and deserved that nomination. And many others. Do I think that Jean Dujardin got an extra edge because The Artist was the favorite this year? Yes. Clooney as always performed excellently, and I would be happy if he won too, but he’s been respected in the awards for a long time now. If it was up to me Gary Oldman would have been nominated several times by now so he’d be old hat it by now, but basically, you suck Academy.

Best Actress

WINNER: Meryl Streep, The Iron Lady
Glenn Close, Albert Nobbs
Viola Davis, The Help
Rooney Mara, The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo
Michelle Williams, My Week With Marilyn

Comments: Meryl. My darling. My precious one. Before anyone goes but Dee she gets nominated all the time. Yes she does, guys, but she’s only won for Best Actress once. In over thirty years of being one of the best actresses in Hollywood, she won two Oscars, one for Supporting Actress and another for Actress. It’s been twenty-nine years or something like that since her last win, and she’s been nominated over a dozen times since with no wins. This is an actress who is consistently amazing in everything she touches, and she deserves all the awards. All. The. Awards. See below for why she’s adorable. And she got a standing ovation from the entire audience everyone.

Best Supporting Actor

WINNER: Christopher Plummer, Beginners
Kenneth Branagh, My Week With Marilyn
Jonah Hill, Moneyball
Nick Nolte, Warrior
Max von Sydow, Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close

Comments: What a charmer. I do love Christopher Plummer, and again, I do have an affinity for actors with a big body of excellent work. I didn’t see this movie, but I’m certain he was excellent in it. He’s the oldest winner, but he looks pretty spry for someone of his age. I would’ve been fine with anyone else except Jonah Hill. We all know how murderously I consider that nomination. I’m not going to get started here because my head might explode.

Best Supporting Actress

WINNER: Octavia Spencer, The Help
Bérénice Bejo, The Artist
Jessica Chastain, The Help
Melissa McCarthy, Bridesmaids
Janet McTeer, Albert Nobbs

Comments: No huge surprise here. The Help got shafted a bit in other categories, so this was a gimme. I liked Octavia Spencer a lot and she did stand out of the cast. I’m still so happy Melissa McCarthy was nominated. She was so not going to win, but I love you anyway Melissa. Octavia’s speech was charming and her tears were real and I totally was happy for her.

Best Adapted Screenplay

WINNER: The Descendants
Hugo
The Ides of March
Moneyball
Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy

Comments: The only reason I put this on here is because one of the writers of the screenplay is Dean Pelton from Community. Guys Community literally has an Oscar-winning cast now. SO THERE.

Best Original Screenplay

WINNER: Midnight in Paris
The Artist
Bridesmaids
Margin Call
A Separation

Comments: I hate Woody Allen. That’s the only reason I put this on here too.

Best Animated Feature

WINNER: Rango
A Cat in Paris
Chico & Rita
Kung Fu Panda 2
Puss in Boots

Comments: RANGO YES YES RANGO. If you haven’t seen this movie please do. The artwork in this is so unique and fascinating and it’s not at all what you’d expected of an animated movie being made today. It’s weird and entertaining and off-beat. I love it.

Best Makeup

WINNER: The Iron Lady
Albert Nobbs
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2

Comments: I put this on here because there was a bit of an online drama over it. Harry Potter fans are more than a little PO’ed that after all this time with 8 movies, it’s never won a single Oscar. It got nominated a few times, but no wins. A lot of people were annoyed that The Iron Lady, which really only needed to age Meryl and make her look like Albright, got make up over the fantastical world of Harry Potter. Me? I’d be more annoyed they didn’t win special effects, what’s with that? That’s where the fans should be focusing on. Hugo had some excellent special effects, but come on, Harry Potter’s been around for years and this was its last chance. It deserved the special effects award and everyone should know that. Whatever, Academy. Anyway, I guess the rage fell upon this category instead because people think prosthetic for the goblins was more impressive than Meryl’s old makeup. I don’t think they understand how difficult it is to make a believable aging let alone make Meryl that similar to her character in appearance. A friend of mine pointed out that making someone look like a fantastical character straight from the imagination is not really the same as making someone look realistically different from themselves. Fair enough. Instead of ragging on a makeup artist who has an illustrious career, focus your fury for the special effects. That’s the real insult. Anyway, I agree to an extent with the HP fans, but don’t hate on the movie or the other makeup artist. Hate on the Academy. It’ll make you feel better.

Best Original Song

WINNER: “Man or Muppet,” The Muppets
“Real in Rio,” Rio

Comments: All I have to say is look below.

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